PPI #104 How to TAKE CONTROL of Your LIFE!

Jan 18, 2021

SUMMARY 

  • Nearly everyone will feel that they're not in control of their life at some point, but few people realize just how easy it is to take control of their life.
  • Here are the top 10 ways that you can take control of your life, and be in the driver's seat rather than in the passenger seat.
  • Number one, you simply need to decide who it is that you want to be. You get to decide who you want to be right now.
  • Number two thing that you can be doing to take control in your life is once you've decided who you want to be in the areas of life that matter most, you can decide what's the one thing that I could do on a daily basis in the context of that day, that will evidence my success in that area?
  • The number three thing that you can be doing to take control of your life is make sure you have powerful routines in your day. If your day is feeling like it's out of control, then it's probably because you don't have some very concrete, reliable structures in your day.
  • Number four way you can get back into feeling like you're in control of your life is simply to have goals. If you don't know what you're shooting for, you're going to be feeling that you're flying blind. So make sure you're choosing goals and have goals that inspire you.
  • Number five thing that you could be doing to make you feel that you're more in control once again, is to apply the 80/20 rule, especially to your skill or goal work. The 80/20 rule simply says that 20% of the things that you could be doing will create 80% of the result.
  • Number six way to make you feel more in control is to make sure that you're reframing stress. Stress is not something bad. It's our view of stress, which is actually what hurts us, which actually makes us feel not in control.
  • Number seven way that you can take more control in your life is to develop a “bring it on” mentality. Have the mentality that no matter what the challenge is that you can step into it.
  • Number eight is to make sure that you're measuring what matters. If you are not measuring things, they will tend to not get done. What gets measured gets done.
  • And the ninth way that you can feel much more in control again, is to level up your team. Often when we're not feeling in control, we could just be hanging out with the wrong people or not have the right members of the team working with us, not have the right people on the team.
  • And the number 10 way to make sure that you're feeling in control is to simply make sure that you're practicing gratitude. When we are not thankful on a regular basis for all the good things that are happening in our lives, then we have a tendency to just look at the things that aren't happening.

TRANSCRIPT

Nearly everyone will feel that they're not in control of their life at some point, but few people realize just how easy it is to take control of their life. And in the absence of doing that, they feel disappointed, frustrated, or just simply burnt out. None of that is what I want to happen to you. So please make sure you stick around for today's message, because I'm going to be taking you through the top 10 ways that you can take control of your life, and be in the driver's seat rather than in the passenger seat.

Hi, my name is Eric Partaker, and I'm on a mission to help people reach their fullest potential in their business in life. So let's dive straight into it and go through the top 10 ways that you can be using to take control in your life. Number one, you simply need to decide who it is that you want to be. A lot of times we feel that things are being imparted upon us, or that we have no control about who we are, but that's not true. You actually can decide who it is that you want to be, and you don't need to wait five or 10 years for that version of you to show up in the world. You get to decide who you want to be right now. And I highly recommend you make that decision about who you want to be in three critical areas.

One is the health front, one is the work or your wealth creation front, and one is the home or the relationship front. Give that version of you a name. Decide who are you at your best in each of those areas? I'll give you an example with myself. So in the health department, it's not me who goes to the gym in the morning, it's world fitness champion, that's the identity that I've given myself. That's the person who steps through the door. That's the person who takes care of the exercise routine. When it comes to work, I decide that I'm the world's best coach, and that's the version of me that shows up for the workday. And when it comes time to disconnect and spend time with my family, I transition into being the world's best husband and father. Now, am I really the best at all of these things? Of course not, but by deciding who I want to be, and by aiming for something high, I have a much better chance of feeling like I'm in control and doing my best.

Number two thing that you can be doing to take control in your life is once you've decided who you want to be in the areas of life that matter most, you can decide what's the one thing that I could do on a daily basis in the context of that day, that will evidence my success in that area? That will show that I'm stepping into being the champion version of me? So going back to my previous example, if you decide that in the health department, you're going to give yourself an identity of who you are at your best, decide what's the one thing that you could be doing in the context of that day, which if you did that thing would prove that you're stepping into being that champion version of you? Do that on a daily basis, deciding who you are at your best, and deciding what's the one thing that you can do to evidence that champion version of you, and you will feel like you're massively taking control in your life.

The number three thing that you can be doing to take control of your life is make sure you have powerful routines in your day. If your day is feeling like it's out of control, then it's probably because you don't have some very concrete, reliable structures in your day. And what do I mean by powerful routines? I mean three things really. Make sure that you have a strong evening routine. A strong end to your day is the best way to ensure that the next day is going to be feeling as in control as possible. And an evening routine should simply consist of a couple of things. So one is shut down your day properly, have a static appointment where you're going to shut down your day. You're going to create a divide between your work life and your home life or your outside of work relationship life. And respect that appointment as you would with someone else.

And in that appointment, simply take a look at what are all the things that you have achieved that day, look at your calendar for the next day, and just choose the top three things that you're going to do in the day ahead. The other powerful part of an evening routine is to make sure that you have a digital sunset. So make sure that you shut down all of your electronics an hour before you're going to bed such that you're going to sleep as deeply and restoratively as you could, because if you're not sleeping deeply and restoratively, you will not feel in control. If you're fatigued, you're not going to feel in control the next day. And a digital sunset is a great way to make sure that you have a good night's sleep. It's scientifically proven that if we're on our devices in that hour before bed, it really lowers, by 50%, lowers the amount of melatonin in our brain, which is the sleep-inducing hormone. And if we don't have enough melatonin, we just won't sleep well. We won't feel as in control as we could the following day.

The morning routine is the next powerful routine that I suggest you install in your day, and morning routine could be whatever you like, but just make sure you have some kind of a routine, some kind of way in which you're going to start your day reliably, that you can always do day in and day out. You have the most control of both of your evening and in the morning. So make sure you exert that control, because that will make your day feel like it's more in control. So a morning routine can consist of, I highly recommend that it does consist of getting some exercise, perhaps doing some journaling or some visualization in the day, maybe a bit of meditation, but whatever you do, try to make sure that you have a consistent routine that you can rely on. And once you start your day, don't start your day reacting to other people's stuff. What I mean is don't set your day in social media or in the inbox or on Slack or browsing the news. Instead, start your day creatively.

After you've done that morning routine that I've just mentioned, maybe start working on one of those top three things, for example that you chose the night before as part of your evening routine. And then the last powerful routine is having a workday routine. And I just do two things on the workday routine front. One is I try to divide my day into maker versus manager time, because in the absence of that, I used to have meetings all over the place and I didn't have a sense of control. Now, what do I mean by maker versus manager time? I simply put all of my meetings in the afternoons and I do more of my creative kind of solo work in the mornings. That gives me a huge sense of control because I can rely on knowing when I'm going to get the important work that I need to get done, and I can also rely on knowing when my meetings will be in the course of a day.

And then last but not least when it comes to working, I try to single task as I'm working throughout the day. So don't jump around from lots of things to the next, that will give you a sense of not feeling in control. Instead, work on one thing at a time, 15 minutes at a time, 30, 60 minutes, but single tasks throughout the day. 

 

Number four way you can get back into feeling like you're in control of your life is simply to have goals. If you don't know what you're shooting for, you're going to be feeling that you're flying blind. So make sure you're choosing goals and have goals that inspire you, make sure that they're big enough, that they get you dreaming. That will make you feel that you're in control again, when you have goals. And then make sure that those goals are broken down so that they feel achievable. So that it's not something that you're going to be achieving just say a quarter from now, or a month from now, what is it that you want to achieve within that goal area or department within just say the next week? By really having goals and breaking them down, you feel an incredible sense of control, because you know where you're going and you know what the stepping stones are to get to that destination. 

 

Number five thing that you could be doing to make you feel that you're more in control once again, is to apply the 80/20 rule, especially to your skill or goal work. So what do I mean by that? So, first of all, let's start with the 80/20 rule. The 80/20 rule simply says that 20% of causes will create 80% of the effects, or in other words, 20% of the things that you could be doing will create 80% of the result. Now, when we're trying to do absolutely everything, we do not feel in control. If we can reduce what we're feeling, what we're doing, what we're trying to do to the 20% of things that create 80% of the results, we feel much more in control because we've literally just chopped out 80% of all the other things that we are working on.

Now, you can also then apply this to your skill development, which will once again give you an incredible sense of control. So out of all the skills that you could be working on to help further you in your career or with your mission or with your company, or just with your own personal development, what are the 20% of things that could create 80% of the result? Again, you can't do everything. If you try to do everything you won't feel in control, but if you apply the 80/20 principle to your skill development, you work in the things that matter most to create the biggest bang for you. The other area to apply that to is with your goal setting mentioned previously. So again, you can't be doing absolutely everything, but pick the 20% of the goals that could create 80% of the results. And then when you're working on those sub-steps within those goals, what are the 20% of the milestones or the sub steps that you could be working on for that goal that will create 80% of the result?

So that wraps up number five, apply the 80/20 principle to both your skill development and your goal work. And you will feel a lot more in control. Number six way to make you feel more in control is to make sure that you're reframing stress. Stress is not something bad. It's our view of stress, which is actually what hurts us, which actually makes us feel not in control. So what do I mean by reframing your view of stress? Well, when you go to the gym, for example, you have a positive view of stress. You know that if you stress a muscle, if you stress your heart for example, if you're doing cardiovascular exercise, your heart and your lungs, if you stress a muscle doing resistance training, you know that the stressing of that muscle is actually going to cause growth and development. And we need to apply that same thinking in our heads because often when we feel not in control, we're letting things in the mental gym of life stressors make us feel weak. When once again, when we're in the physical gym of life, we know that those stressors actually strengthen us.

So we need to reframe stress. So if you do that, then suddenly everything in life becomes like a bit of a gym and all of those stressors, all those challenges, situations, things that create hardship, we could start kind of just treating those as dumbbells or that's like a treadmill. And we know that applying ourselves in that area where it may feel stressful is actually something that's going to strengthen us. So reframe stress, not in a totally new way, just taking the exact way that you do it when it comes to exercise and applying that to how you view things mentally and doing that will make you feel like you're in so much more control of your life when you simply reframe stress to be the positive strength building force that it is.

And once again, that you already respect and recognize when it comes to your physical training, number seven way that you can take more control in your life is to develop a “bring it on” mentality. What do I mean by that? Well, now that we've reframed stress and we view it as something positive, rather than something negative, when anything happens that stresses us, that gets us down, that knocks us on our heels or back. But then we have to say to ourselves, bring it out, step back into it, step right into it. Have the mentality that no matter what the challenge is that you can step into it, you can complete the repetition, so to speak and become stronger as a result. So when something is stressing, you both reframe it, but then also say to yourself, all right, bring it on.

This is going to be challenging, but I know that through stress comes strength. So I'm going to step into this, knowing that I'll feel better as a result on the other side of it. Okay. And we're in the final stretch here with our last three things that you can do in our top 10 list to regain control in your life. And number eight is to make sure that you're measuring what matters. If you are not measuring things, they will tend to not get done. What gets measured gets done. So if there are things that you want to take more control of, such as your exercise routines, such as the number of minutes or hours that you're spending in a day working on your skill development or studying, or completing a project or writing a book or whatever it may be, or spending more time with friends and family.

Measure it, start to measure well what's the goal? How many hours or minutes do you want to be spending on those types of activities? And actually measure them. How many minutes or hours are being wrapped up in the course of a day or a week? And you will be shocked at how much more control this gives you once again. So if there's an area that you're feeling that you're not in control, ask yourself, how could I measure my output in that area, such that I know that I'm actually doing whatever it is that I'm hoping to do more of ?that will make you feel much more in control of that area of your life.

And the nine way that you can feel much more in control again, is to level up your team. So what do I mean by this? Well, often when we're not feeling in control, we could just be hanging out with the wrong people or not have the right members of the team working with us, not have the right people on the team. So this doesn't just have to relate to work, but it also can be on the personal front. If, once again, you're hanging out with people that drain you of energy and create a negative vibe and feeling within you, then it will not be conducive to you feeling like you're in control of your life. And it's best to just separate yourself, you from people like that, or at least give them the feedback that, "Hey, this doesn't work for me. This is not helping me maintain a sense of control in my life. This is draining of energy, and it may be time to level up your friendship network."

Similarly with your team, if you're not able to achieve the things that you want to achieve, then you have to ask yourself, "Well, is that contributing to me feeling like I'm not in control?" And then if so, what feedback can I give to the people that I'm working with? Or can I add new resources or expertise in the form of a team member, or perhaps an advisor, or some other way, shape or form a mentor or a coach that will help me level up. So leveling up your team, whether that's team in terms of friends, or team in terms of colleagues or peers, is a fantastic way, and a key way to make you feel that you're in control of your future, of your destiny, of your day-to-day life. 

 

And the number 10 way to make sure that you're feeling in control is to simply make sure that you're practicing gratitude. When we are not thankful on a regular basis for all the good things that are happening in our lives, then we have a tendency to just look at the things that aren't happening.

And when we look at the things that aren't happening, it makes us feel like we aren't in control. So make sure on a daily basis, if you can do it as part of your morning routine, which we mentioned earlier, you could add to that routine a gratitude practice. What are three things that I'm grateful for today? You could even add that to your evening routine. What are three things that I'm grateful for today? Do that on a daily basis, super, super powerful, it will make you feel a much deeper sense of control in your life. And there you go, there you have it, 10 ways in which you can take more control in your life. You don't have to do them all at once. You can experiment with the ones that most resonated with you, but trust me, if you act on one or all of those 10 things, you will feel massive amounts of control in your life and feel that you're back on track. So I hope you've enjoyed that. And if you head over to my website at ericpartaker.com, you can also subscribe to my weekly Peak Performance Insights newsletter.